And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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