you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
