I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
