its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
