Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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