First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
