Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
