What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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