i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He kissed a someone with a penis
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
