D3 body, D1 cock
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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