Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
