What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
