Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
