So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
