They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
