You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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