just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
