I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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