So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
there is glitter all over my balls
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
