Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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