and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
