Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
