If i come over, it means nothing
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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