Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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