I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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