I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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