Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize