I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
