I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Randomize
