I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize