if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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