I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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