Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
