This girl is more easily done than said...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
