He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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