yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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