I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
