and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
