i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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