Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
