idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
