I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
