I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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