Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i believe in u and ur pee
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
