Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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