So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
