Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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