zippers are such a cool invention
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize