Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
