check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You took a bar mat shot.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
These tits shall not be calmed
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize