Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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