You just made me feel so damn special
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
