mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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