We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
