Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
