i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
