i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
